By Steven MaherImagine throwing a party and no one comes.
Every year Paulie “The Stalker” Collyer throws one, but no one goes.
So what is it with Worcester? Or better said, what is it with NOLA? Typical Wusta apathy or it isn’t being marketed properly?
Thinking Worcester’s less than popular newspapers would get him visitors, Paulie got the fools at the T&G, Worcester Magazine and GoLocalWorcester to do write-ups. In vain, it didn’t boost attendance.
Promotion 101: Advertise! Advertise! Advertise!
Not Paulie. In a desperate attempt thinking he could trick the T&G thereby solving his cash problem, tried to pump-up pageviews. But alas, it didn’t get on the T&G's radar. the ad he posted on their facebook page was deleted. Ouch!
The T&G has a ranking chart - most read, most commented, most emailed. NOLA didn’t draw any views (ouch!) or comments (ouch!) or emails (ouch!).
In fact the same with Worcester Magazine and GoLocalWorcester. Again Paulie furiously tried pumping up pageviews; they didn't make the most popular list. Funny thing, those articles were verbatim copies of last year’s articles. Ouch!
Most devastating, there was no word of mouth on the local blogs, not one blog mentioned NOLA. Now that’s really, really embarrassing. Paulie "Mr. Popularity" Collyer really ain’t that popular among the locals. Considering his reputation for harassing and stalking locals, it's no wonder. Check out his reputation on Yelp.
Maybe he should have hired Rosalie Tirella to handle the marketing. Rosalie Tirella knows how to peddles BS (aka lies). She’s hurtin nowadays so she can be bought pretty cheaply. Or Bill Randell - he peddles beer, so that's a possible match. Um...
Hey, anyone notice if Paulie advertised in InCity Times this year? Doubt it, they’re having a spat. Again. Um… wonder if Rosie’s gonna do another review of NOLA, like last year. Doubt it. No payola, no review. Last year’s review was a enlightening, Rosie called NOLA Worcester’s annual geriatric festival. Ouch!
Of course no mention of attendance. As usual. Last we heard, according to Paulie “Urban”Collyer, in 2011 some 1,100 people inexplicably found their way to NOLA. That’s a bit of a stretch. Actually it’s an outright lie. This year according to the detail reports by the WPD, attendance was estimated between 350 and 400. Worcester Magazine indirectly confirmed that by posting a picture of an anemic looking crowd in front of the stage. Ouch!
Even Paulie presented evidence on his BA Events blog. Photos from previous NOLAs show a very meager audience, some 50 people in garden chairs with their oxygen tanks crowding the stage. A picture is worth a 1,000 words. Ouch!
And did we mention that none of the bands or the suppliers, or the beer, was from Worcester? Yup, not one freaking local business was used in producing NOLA.
Is there a moral to the story? Yup. Paulie got exactly what he paid for - nada.
Welcome to Wusta, the home NOLA!
